Snips and Snails and Puppydog Tails

I’ve come to accept that at times I’m a small person. I don’t mean small in stature; I mean small in the “be the bigger person” sense. I try very hard to be the bigger person when I can. However, two days ago something happened that I just can’t be the bigger person about. I can’t even try. And maybe it will make God frown a little, but I really can’t be sad about my shortcoming in this instance.

I’m sure everyone knows what I’m referring to. Yes, I am talking about the death – at the hands of U.S. Navy SEALs – of terrorist and Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden. I experienced such a range of emotions when the news broke, as I’m sure everyone did. Initial disbelief, even cynicism about how “convenient” the timing was for the current administration. I wanted to believe it; I really did. It just took a little time – even now it seems surreal. I felt hope; hope that the families affected by Al Qaida operations might feel some closure. I felt fear – fear of retaliation from Al Qaida or other extremist groups.  But I also felt relief at knowing that this particular sick mastermind is no more.

And it is this relief, this form of (dare I say it?) muted joy,  that, to some folks, makes me a Small Person. And perhaps those folks are right. Scriptures have been quoted that tell us how we shouldn’t rejoice in the fall or death of anyone, even an enemy–that only love can stamp out hate. And the God I was raised to know and love would be sad at the life of someone like bin Laden, who killed in His name, and would hope to bring that person back into His flock. But here’s where I will just own being “Small.” Because I’m glad he’s gone from this earth. I’m glad he can’t plan more death and destruction and carry out those plans in a sick interpretation of God’s word. I’m glad that we aren’t going to have to wait through years of trials and appeals where we’d have to listen to this man spouting his hatred.

Please don’t mistake my relief as being cold-hearted or naive. I did (and do) think sympathetically of Osama’s mother. Surely when she cradled him as a baby, she had no idea that he’d grow up to be one of the most hated men in the world, responsible for thousands of deaths. Nor do I equate his form of radical Islam with Islam as a whole. I’ve been priveledged to know a few (admittedly, only a few) Muslim people, and I’ve done some elementary studying about the religion on my own. The little I’ve learned shows Islam to be a peaceful religion, focused on submitting to the will of God and taking care of those less fortunate than yourself. I’m not naive enough to think that Al Qaida will just crumble without its leader, or to think that this is an end to terrorism in our world. I do expect some retaliation at some point.

So, while I didn’t go out in the streets to sing or dance or publicly celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden (and I do think the celebrations in NYC and DC were quite different than the celebrations we saw in other countries on 9/11, but that’s another post entirely), I cannot be sad for his death. If that makes me a Small Person in others’ eyes, so be it. The God I know and love, and who loves me, will forgive me for it in due time. After all, He knows I’m only human.